Amicable Settlement: Divorcing Without the Hate

Couple holding a broken heartWhat people keep saying that "half of the marriages in the U.S. end in a divorce" hasn’t been true for a long time. In the 70s and 80s, the number of divorcing couples reached a peak, but couples who tied the knot within the last two decades are more likely to stick it out for life. Divorce rates are on a decline, but that doesn’t mean they will disappear.

Being married comes with all sorts of challenges. A couple may call it quits after a few years or even decades. Some couples realize that they made a mistake and filed for divorce almost as soon as the marriage is a few days old. From adultery to abuse, there is a long list of reasons this might happen.

In some cases, a couple may decide to end their marriage quietly and peacefully. Though it's not what people are used to seeing compared to TV dramas or movies, it's possible to divorce amicably.

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Benefits of an amicable agreement

There are many benefits when you and your spouse decides to end your marriage peacefully. The potential savings in money and time can be huge. You can walk away from each other with the least amount of stress and pain. It's also possible to spare children with heartbreak that a nasty, drawn-out divorce may cause. A peaceful divorce may also help children cope with the changes in their life faster and with less anxiety. You still have to be a parent, so it’s best to end the marriage without hate.

Setting the grounds for divorce

Amicable or not, you can’t approach the court and ask for a divorce citing only irreconcilable differences as the grounds. You and your divorce attorneys in Albuquerque have to prepare before filing anything.

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There are two kinds of divorce: fault and no-fault. The grounds for a no-fault divorce are two years of separation (with consent) and five years of separation. As for fault divorce, there is cheating (adultery), physical or psychological abuse, drug and alcohol abuse, incarceration, and desertion.

If you have no choice but to file for a fault divorce yet you still want to settle it peacefully, you and your spouse have to agree on the grounds. You also have to discuss how the allegations are stated. It's better not to file a divorce together if one of you is at fault, like when the other spouse is cheating. Judges may think it’s a collusion and deny the petition.

Divorce is often seen as an ugly and painful process. Doing it amicably can save all parties concerned from its difficulties. Talk to your lawyer about how best to approach your spouse in hopes of a peaceful divorce.